i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
my being single is dangerous.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
