WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
