Sry I called you an 8
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
