Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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