So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
