I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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