Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
