Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
