Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
