3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize