it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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