So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
