I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
