Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I didn't notice because vodka
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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