My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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