Yo dont text me then not text me
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
