Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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