Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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