he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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