lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
