miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
