I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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