i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
