I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize