I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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