i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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