I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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