Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
