Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
and she was petting her beer can
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize