What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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