You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
