He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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