Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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