Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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