So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
