I cockslap morals
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
