shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
