Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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