I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize