I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
love makes seman taste better
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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