Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
