If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
