There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
