My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize