just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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