Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
