Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
