If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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