oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
