at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
