By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
