Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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