Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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