Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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