Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
