Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Jerry, you need to find god
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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