Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
