Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
