just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
