question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
