I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
