It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
this hospital has no fireball
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
