He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
